After Christmas letter

It came this morning. Aunt Maisie's 'After Christmas Letter'. She's not really my aunt. We lived next door to her when I was growing up. and she's kept in touch all these years. She must be well into her eighties, but she lives alone and is still spry and needle-witted. Her lively imagination used to fill our childish minds with stories both delightful and humorous. I thought you might like to share her letter, so get a cup of something hot and curl-up in a comfy chair.

Dear Sissy,

Hope yer family is fine. I'm good fer my age. Everythaing still works. You'll never guess what I got fer Christmas. I said you'd never guess. In a white box on my tree amongst the popcorn and paper chains was a present from Santa. When I opened the package and pulled away the red tissue there they were. My two front teeth. I remember writin' to the ol' codger when I was six and askin' fer them, but I never got 'em til they growed in on their own that spring. Now I'm a wonderin' is Santa that fur behind or did the post office mess up agin?

Acshully if there been a way to make 'em stick to my gums I coulda used them fer Christmas dinner. I'd jest got a new set of false teeth two months ago and my uppers got lost. Well, not egsactly lost. You know Maybelle, my oldest. She's named fer me, but my family always called me Maisie. Anyway she come over a couple of days afore Christmas to help out, she said. What she meant was that I don't keep house good enuf fer her so she'd come to clean. She whirled through the living room with her white cloths and pail of cleanin' stuff. Then she whirled down the hall and inta the bedroom. I could hear her muttering. "She must be gettin' blind. Look at all the dust."

I went inta the kitchen to fix some tea. My gums were ahurtin' so I lay my uppers on the kitchen winder sill and put the kettle on. Bout that time Maybelle comes whirlin' in and starts sprayin' and scrubbin'. Would you believe it? She even cleaned the top of the icebox. Who's gonna see the top of the icebox? Maybe my grandson, Lem. He's growed real tall. I don't think you ever met him. He's a basketball star at his high school. Good lookin' boy, but he ain't gonna care if the the top of that icebox is clean or not, as long as it's got plenty of food inside. Well, anyway, Maybelle was a scrubbin out the sink and the teakettle went off. While I was makin' the tea she cleaned off the winder sill. Everythang went into the trash. She took it out, throwed it in the incinerator and lit it.

Well, she were real sorry and promised to have some teeth made fer me, but they won't be in 'til after New Years. I gummed down my Christmas dinner, but I'll sure be glad to have my uppers back.

Give my love to your family, even thet husband or yers. Never could understand why you married him.

luv,
Aunt Maisie

PS You know I was joshun' about your husband. You jest love on him and yer kids. Teach them younguns to honor God and His Word. In the end they'll turn out jes fine.